The Woodstock Neighbors
Most Sunday evenings our elderly neighbors gather outside to visit, check in and share the latest news. I wandered over last night to sit with them. The conversation this night was well underway about knee replacements, both successful and botched, which doctors to call, those to avoid and all the gruesome details of the surgery. I didn’t have anything to offer so I just listened intently to hear - really hear. They are all delightful people mind you. They came of age in the 50’s or 60’s and have great taste in music, love to entertain and are very worried about the world that young people have inherited. A couple of them were at Woodstock! However, I heard things in their stories and voices last night.
Worry. They worry that their health will fail. They don’t want to lose mobility, freedom, or their way of life. I get that.
Frustration. Things take time - doctor appointments, Covid vaccines, results from tests, visits from children and grands. They rely on others for all these things - and have a lot of time to dwell on things - it’s really enough for them to scream.
Fear. In their conversations is always the latest death in the neighborhood, family or parish. They have lost friends and wonder when it will be them. They fear being ill, in a nursing home and funny enough - having to live with their children.
Acceptance. They really are practical people. They want to golf till they can’t. Keep the house until it’s too much. Have a pet, until it’s overwhelming. Enjoy their favorite beverages and hang out with friends - until they can’t. Acceptance doesn’t mean they like it - it’s just reality.
After I was home, I thought for a long while about the elderly and senior adults we have in our parishes. Are we tending to them well? Do we listen with intent and compassion? Do we offer meaningful things for them? Have we cared for them well during the pandemic? Are we challenging them with sharing faith, living as missionary disciples and evangelizers? We are never done. We don’t retire from faith. This lovely demographic is important now more than ever - we need to invite them in to mentorship, having an apprentice, teaching, sharing, praying, connecting.
Just recently my daughter Amy - an ICU nurse on Maui, asked for some scrub hats for the nurses. I like to sew but they needed quite a few. So, I asked my neighbor Meri if she could help me out. Before I even had a chance to start looking for a pattern, she was over at my door, with a pattern for me and a few prototypes. I was so touched! Between the two of us we made 50 of these lovely hats. She made the bulk of them. We thanked her with a gift and some pictures of the ICU staff wearing her work. She told me over and over that she was grateful for the chance to do something important. It made me wonder if we offering important work to our older parishioners? They might just be waiting to be asked! I challenge you this week to assess what you offer your seniors. To check in with them to see how they are, what they need and how they might be an integral part of post pandemic church life when our people will be needing some extra attention and care.
I am off to take some muffins next door - blessings on your week.
Jane
